I went back to the LTO today. I came at 8:30 AM. (They have a sign outside which says OFFICE HOURS ARE FROM 9 to 5 WEEKDAYS) I naturally expected to wait until 9 AM. I was standing in an already long line outside the office when I suddenly decided to check my phone. I noticed that it was 9:10 AM. After getting all the crap for missing out a few minutes yesterday, here they were opening the offices late. The hypocrisy was just outstanding. No wonder the Philippines and its people are in such dire straights right now.

When finally they do open the doors, the sudden thrush of people jostling for position inside the office was amazing. It was as if there was some unseen current urging people to just keep going in. I had my wits about me, so I entered the drug testing center instead and found that I was 2nd in line. Aside from the occasional idiots trying to cut in line and make things faster, the process was pretty ok. As long as you don’t get lost due to the stupidity of the signs and instructions. (Note to self: When someone from the LTO tells you to wait for your name to be called, it means you have to give your forms to the examining doctor/nurse AND THEN wait for your name to be called!) Aside from this minor hiccup things proceeded quickly. (Oh and you have to give a urine sample and pee while the door is open. Thank god, I don’t have a shy bladder!)

Back at the LTO office, I was the only one there. They have a glass wall which divides you from employees. I could clearly see that my form was the only one there. I have no idea why people then would take their time attending to the completion of verification of documents. Anyway, I was just happy to be almost done and sitting in an empty office. It took me 45 mins to actually get my license renewed. But here’s the catch, I had to know where I was going and get the forms the day before.

You see I hate standing in lines. Maybe its not a question of patience since I see myself as a pretty patient person. I would gladly wait if you tell me you are going to be late or will be arriving at a different time. But just being late without telling me is unforgivable. That is why I was so livid yesterday. How the hell should I know that cut-off is at 10:30 AM? It says business hours are from 9AM till 5PM.

Anyway, I’m glad to have my license back and add another piece of Identification card to my arsenal. (I’ve got my company Id, passport, and now my drivers’ license which is valid again.) I then bought a plastic cover for P20 just because my old one so dilapidated that it was literally disintegrating during the entire ordeal.

There is nothing quite like a harrowing experience of renewing your license to remind you that, ‘”hey welcome back to the Philippines!”

And welcome back indeed.

Today I was reminded that DFA is only an exception rather than a rule. I had to renew my license today. Apparently, the Ayala renewal center is the fastest. They are for a number of reasons I think.

One is that they cut off the morning session at 10:30 AM! I mean wtf. You only have 1 hour and 30 mins from the time they open. The next session is at 2:00 PM. If you have work and have to come in and then go the LTO center, you are basically screwed.

I hate how nothing works in the Philippines. If I haven’t really noticed how things really don’t work in the Philippines, but after Singapore I am both in an utter state of disgust and humiliation. Why can’t we do it. What exactly is so different?

I’ve always stood by my principle that I will not leave the country because I believe in the Filipino people. But I’ve found a better world. I’ve found a place that makes me happier. Do I compromise my principles?

Things like these, the LTO shit, make it hard for me to keep hoping. They are literally bastions of hope-draining structures erected in different areas. Whether it be the traffic, the unrelenting undisciplined masses, or the joke/carnival called our presidential elections, they just drain my hope from under me. I want to keep hoping. I want to keep believing but maybe there comes a point wherein we just have to cut our losses and walk away.

Albert Einstein defined madness as repeating the same thing over and over again expecting a different result. It is so sad that I have this sinking feeling that I am expecting  a different result. But a quote from Friedrich Nietzsche’s Reading and Writing offers some semblance of what others would call a “ray of light or glimmer of hope”. He says:

There is always some madness in love. But there is also always some reason in madness

I love my country. I am mad. But amidst my madness, there lies the reason. I have yet to find it though.