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I know everyone means well, but please stop telling me about her. I am trying to move on and get on with my life. Anything she does is her business and none of mine. You are not helping, no matter how sincere you are, by telling me you saw her, you know stuff about her, or anything at all. Please, just let me move on in peace. Thanks.

I went back to the LTO today. I came at 8:30 AM. (They have a sign outside which says OFFICE HOURS ARE FROM 9 to 5 WEEKDAYS) I naturally expected to wait until 9 AM. I was standing in an already long line outside the office when I suddenly decided to check my phone. I noticed that it was 9:10 AM. After getting all the crap for missing out a few minutes yesterday, here they were opening the offices late. The hypocrisy was just outstanding. No wonder the Philippines and its people are in such dire straights right now.

When finally they do open the doors, the sudden thrush of people jostling for position inside the office was amazing. It was as if there was some unseen current urging people to just keep going in. I had my wits about me, so I entered the drug testing center instead and found that I was 2nd in line. Aside from the occasional idiots trying to cut in line and make things faster, the process was pretty ok. As long as you don’t get lost due to the stupidity of the signs and instructions. (Note to self: When someone from the LTO tells you to wait for your name to be called, it means you have to give your forms to the examining doctor/nurse AND THEN wait for your name to be called!) Aside from this minor hiccup things proceeded quickly. (Oh and you have to give a urine sample and pee while the door is open. Thank god, I don’t have a shy bladder!)

Back at the LTO office, I was the only one there. They have a glass wall which divides you from employees. I could clearly see that my form was the only one there. I have no idea why people then would take their time attending to the completion of verification of documents. Anyway, I was just happy to be almost done and sitting in an empty office. It took me 45 mins to actually get my license renewed. But here’s the catch, I had to know where I was going and get the forms the day before.

You see I hate standing in lines. Maybe its not a question of patience since I see myself as a pretty patient person. I would gladly wait if you tell me you are going to be late or will be arriving at a different time. But just being late without telling me is unforgivable. That is why I was so livid yesterday. How the hell should I know that cut-off is at 10:30 AM? It says business hours are from 9AM till 5PM.

Anyway, I’m glad to have my license back and add another piece of Identification card to my arsenal. (I’ve got my company Id, passport, and now my drivers’ license which is valid again.) I then bought a plastic cover for P20 just because my old one so dilapidated that it was literally disintegrating during the entire ordeal.

There is nothing quite like a harrowing experience of renewing your license to remind you that, ‘”hey welcome back to the Philippines!”

And welcome back indeed.

Today I was reminded that DFA is only an exception rather than a rule. I had to renew my license today. Apparently, the Ayala renewal center is the fastest. They are for a number of reasons I think.

One is that they cut off the morning session at 10:30 AM! I mean wtf. You only have 1 hour and 30 mins from the time they open. The next session is at 2:00 PM. If you have work and have to come in and then go the LTO center, you are basically screwed.

I hate how nothing works in the Philippines. If I haven’t really noticed how things really don’t work in the Philippines, but after Singapore I am both in an utter state of disgust and humiliation. Why can’t we do it. What exactly is so different?

I’ve always stood by my principle that I will not leave the country because I believe in the Filipino people. But I’ve found a better world. I’ve found a place that makes me happier. Do I compromise my principles?

Things like these, the LTO shit, make it hard for me to keep hoping. They are literally bastions of hope-draining structures erected in different areas. Whether it be the traffic, the unrelenting undisciplined masses, or the joke/carnival called our presidential elections, they just drain my hope from under me. I want to keep hoping. I want to keep believing but maybe there comes a point wherein we just have to cut our losses and walk away.

Albert Einstein defined madness as repeating the same thing over and over again expecting a different result. It is so sad that I have this sinking feeling that I am expecting  a different result. But a quote from Friedrich Nietzsche’s Reading and Writing offers some semblance of what others would call a “ray of light or glimmer of hope”. He says:

There is always some madness in love. But there is also always some reason in madness

I love my country. I am mad. But amidst my madness, there lies the reason. I have yet to find it though.

A few weeks back, my trust work-horse, my blue benz, decided to just quit on me. I’ve been taking cabs for the past week and it hasn’t been cheap. I’ve noticed the steady decline in my savings (or at least what I try to perceive as my savings) since I started doing that.

So today on an early, early Saturday morning, the electrician came to check what exactly was wrong with my car. After about an hour’s worth of tinkering around I’ve spent about P500 on the mechanics fee and realized it still won’t work.

I need a new battery. Cost? About 4-5 thousand pesos.

It actually gave me more reason to consider just buying the other benz I’ve been eyeing. I do not know what exactly is wrong with it. From what I hear nothing. Its in perfect running condition. Its the body that I want. And here’s the clincher, its automatic.

Now I just need about 200-250 thousand pesos and that baby is all mine.

I hope the bulk buy that I was selling for next year pushes through. I badly need a new car.

*p.s: On a side note, I’ve been trying lately to blog without pictures not because I can’t come up with some but rather I want to work on my writing. It was the primary reason I started to blog in the first place, and sometimes I find that because of the pictures I tend to include, I don’t write as well as I would like. I hope you guys understand!

Now I have 2 big purchases lined up for either Christmas and my birthday. Hopefully, I sell enough to afford them. Either a Tokina 12-24 or Nikkor 12-24, a tripod, and a 35mm 1.8. Oh and I’m planning to get a LX3 too for Pat. I think I’ll be using it more though. Spending on my camera is just damn expensive. I gotta start selling more!

So I offer this final ode to my lens for the past few months. Farewell dear friend.

WTF happened?! This is further proof of the effect of blogging! Meron ba na apektuhan ng sobra para ipa request na itumba ang blog na ito?

Or you are walking in the mall and you accidentally get too close the railings and you get jolted with electricity. ooh and they hurt like hell. Maybe it was more of the shock of actually feeling something more than the current. But for a few short minutes your palm or whatever got hit with the electricity feels numb. I hate these. Why make those railing out of metal?! Gah! Design Fail!

According to Wikipedia:

Static electricity refers to the buildup of electric charge on the surface of objects. The static charges remain on an object until they either bleed off to ground or are quickly neutralized by a discharge. Although charge exchange can happen whenever any two surfaces come into contact and separate, a static charge will only remain when at least one of the surfaces has a high resistance to electrical flow (an electrical insulator). The effects of static electricity are familiar to most people because we can see, feel and even hear the spark as the excess charge is neutralized when brought close to a large electrical conductor (for example a path to ground), or a region with an excess charge of the opposite polarity (positive or negative). The familiar phenomenon of a static ‘shock’ is caused by the neutralization of charge.

It was I guess just one of those days.

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*edit

After reading my post after it was published, I just realized that this was such a stupid post. LOL

Even the drawing SUCKED.

I would engulf myself in the tiny stories playing out in my end. It takes a special kind of skill to be able to put into words what or rather how you feel. It takes even more skill to actually be able to play out the scenes swirling around one’s head unto paper and a few printed words. I remember my Cateya drawing pad I got from art class in school would not be full of drawings but stories. Countless endless stories of an overactive 6-7 year old boy.

I do not however claim to be able to possess that skill. On the contrary, I actually started this blog to acquire that skill. I long for the stories I had. To actually be able to get them out; now that was something I’ve long forgotten.

When I got my camera, I fell in love with a new form of expression. I wanted to be able to tell stories through my lenses. But sadly, I was consumed with the technicality of it all. I forgot why I started taking pictures. I didn’t want to be acknowledged as a photographer. This was not something I did because I wanted to be an actual photographer. I just wanted another form of expression to compliment my writing.

Writers Block

And yet here I am, standing behind a writers block. Lost at what to do. I pull up a browser window and quickly pound they keyboard and type “www.google.com”. Into the search box I type, “how to remove writers block”. I click on one of the top hits and it pulls up a page. Simple yet informative. It mentions different writing jargon that I no nothing off. I do see that one must practice creating structure. Guilty. I don’t have structure within my posts. I click the X looming over the right hand corner of the screen and it closes the window.

I want to write stories soon. I’ll be adding a new category. A category for short stories. I hope you like them. Or maybe a page for short stories. I will still have to ask my web dev friend. So hang on. I’ll be back soon.

But sadly, as work resumes, so does the pride of actually being a Filipino wane. It is so sad that my entire perception of how there is so much hope for the Filipino is suddenly shattered by the few people who have calloused hearts and has lost all sense in the meaning of goodness. When I say calloused, those insensitive enough to take upon themselves to take advantage of people during this time of need when most of our fellow countrymen have little or nothing to eat and has lost all shelter.

I am not talking about the tiny little facebook post by that Jaques girl from Dubai. It goes past the digital community. It was something very concrete and real that I just had to talk about it.

On my way back from the Department for Foreign Affairs for my personal appearance requirement to renew my passport, I had to take a cab. It took me quite some time to actually flag one down in the busy street of Libertad. When finally a new Toyota Vios cab pulled up on the curb.

Watch out for the covered meter. Black tape and you should get down

I opened the door.

The cab driver was nice. He smiled a lot. I told him “Kuya sa may The Fort.”(Sir, I’m going to The Fort area) He quickly nodded and acknowledged that he knew where I was going. I sat in the front seat.

I quickly checked if the flag down rate was correct. (I am a bit paranoid about these things.) I noticed that there was black electrical tape over the meter. I asked him:

“Kuya ano yan? Bakit may tape?” (Sir what is that? Why is there tape over the meter?”

He replied, “Ganun na po ngayon, bagong metro yan. Kada kilometro ang bayad.” (That is how it is now. That is a new meter. You pay per kilometer.)

I was amazed. I saw this on the news about a month ago. I wanted to indulge him. “Magkano naman per Kilometer?”

I got a short reply: “P100”

P100 per kilometer? That is just absurd. A normal taxi rate would run from about P10 pero kilometer.

I quickly answered: “Ok. Pero wag na sa Fort. Sa Abs mo nalang ako dahlhin. Baka makaabot pa tayo sa taping ng Tv Patrol.”  (Ok but don’t take me to the Fort. Take me to ABS-CBN(a local TV Station). We might make it to the taping of TV PATROL (a local news tv show))”

He just smiled. The balls of this guy.

He just said “sige po di bale nalang” (ok sir, nevermind). He pulled over and let me down the cab without paying.

I quickly made a mental note of his taxi name. It is a white toyota vios, taxi name Aileen. The guy driving is an elderly male, around 40+ years old with a mustache. (You know those 1980′s and 1990′s bad guys from those old movies? He looked like a goon!!)

How A Taxi Meter Should Look Like

Its sad to see that there are people like this amidst the calamity we all suffered. Thousands of people had their lives literally swept away in the flash flood and people, like this taxi driver, have the guts to deceive people and take advantage of the situation. Today, when everyone needs a hero, where volunteerism was starting to arise amidst widespread depression and corruption, where there was just a glimmer of hope for our country, reality hits you smack in the face. I know I shouldn’t judge because of one incident. I shouldn’t let my hope die just because some people choose not to be noble. I had always believed that the end will never justify the means. I suppose the burden now lies unto me. Do I choose to let some taxi driver dampen my hopes for our future? Or do I use this as my driving force to make a better future for me or my children. I saw someone post this on facebook as her status and I give credits to Shox for the quote. She says:

Life is not waiting for the storm to pass, its learning how to dance in the rain.