A New Day

May 25, 2010 by Chubs    7 Comments    Posted under: Realizations, The Daily Grind

I was lost. I actually was walking around asking people the question “how does one begin to move on?” I know. It was cheesy, stupid, overreacted but the if you were in my place and knew the things I knew and went through the crap I’ve gone through you would to. When it was the one single thing you asked someone not to do, and it happens it feels as if your world comes crumbling down.

Last weekend was an interesting one. Not only did the topics and conversation surprise me but a lot of events also did. My barkada, the amazing fab-5 (sans Leo) had an amazing talk. We talked about the past, the current, and the future. In high school, all we would talk about would be gmiks and girls. During college all we would talk about would be our current gfs. But now, we talk about marriage, settling down, investing, making a pact that everybody must be rich. No one gets left behind. Back in hs, weekend trips or out of town trips consisted of tagaytay or baguio at the furthest. In college boracay, palawan and camarines sur, were on the agenda. But now that we are at the start of a new chapter once more, we are talking about cruises and singapore, bali, malaysia and other countries. Wow we have grown up! Even Ken who I never thought would, somehow grew up!

But on to more important things, I had a revelation last weekend. I was tested, weighed and I came out unscathed. I walked out of it smiling. I once asked a good friend Jester how does one begin to move on, and she told me one very important thing. She told me it starts with forgiveness. I didn’t believe her. I was so angry back then. I was just mad and I would take none of it. It was a very bad start.

But over time, the pain started to go away. I could think better, more clearly, a I was a little bit more sane each day. Thanks to good friends like Jane, Chris, Danes, Patty, Rendhl, Trixie, Jester, Judd, Embs, Wil, Ginie, Eudora, Michelle, Leo, Luigi, Ken, and Ben. ( Yes even Ben!) I’d also like to give a special shout out to the club who not knowing anything made my weekends happy and bright again.

For those of you who are going through a breakup or through any pain caused by a relationship here are my steps on how it is to move on:

Get Mad.

Yup, you read right. Get angry. Let your anger out. Vent. Rant. Cry. Hurt. But do not let you anger consume you. Always remain in control and allow yourself to feel this very natural and primal emotion. It helps trust me. Do not let it linger and brood. Do not bury it in some deep dark place. The fruit of that plant will NEVER be good.

Mourn.

Allow yourself to grieve for what was. Say goodbye. Feel lonely. Feel sad. Allow yourself to feel uncannily vulnerable even for just a few days. If you have true friends, (yes this is a must) they will be there to protect you and to comfort you. Allow yourself to be comforted.

Forgive.

This is the hardest. You cannot force this. At this point you will have moved on. This is the last and necessary step in the process. Forgiveness is such a powerful act. The closure it brings is so refreshing, like a quick midday summer shower on a particularly HOT and HUMID day.

Forgiveness

Ok before this post becomes any gay-er or before people start asking why I am talking the way I am now, I just thought I would provide a guy’s point of view. Rarely do we speak up and really share our thought and emotions because society dictates that we suppress the said emotions due to looking weak.

So the next time you see me, whether we be good friends or acquaintances only please do come up to me and give me a big old hug. I’d really appreciate it.

And to you, if you still do read my blog, I already have forgiven you.

Cheers,

Carlos

*edit: Ok so I don’t really like using pictures by other people on my blog but for this one I really didn’t have stock pictures.

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